Archive for November 2013

I swear this post isn’t sponsored by Band-Aid.


One of my tiny humans came to me after breakfast this morning. She is my fretful darling, smart beyond her years and caring to a fault. She told me she was very concerned and worried (yes, those were the words she used), she had a Band-Aid on her knee and she knew it was time for it to come off but she was afraid it would hurt and then she would need another Band-Aid and then that one would have to come off and so on and on and on…

You get the picture.

Normally I would just be flip and point in another direction, “oh look at that!” and then rip it when she looked away (effective, no?) this time I crouched to her level, looked into her beautiful, blueberry eyes and told her the truth.

You will find in life, my darling, that anticipating an event, change, anything unknown will always be scarier than the actual thing you are worried about.

She looked at me for a minute, a kind of side eye look, brandished her knee, I ripped and she hopped off claiming that “was nothing”.

I was still crouched in the kitchen thinking about how I should really take my own advice; no one wants to feel vulnerable whether it’s the ripping of a Band-Aid or the fear of rejection. I have been making strides, letting go of assumptions and asking the questions I’m afraid to get answers to. I have a long way to go, I’m hoping like anything else that with time you become desensitized to that gut check fear and it becomes a habit. Could you imagine being open to new experiences without the fear of judgment or anxiety of rejection? What would you do if that was possible?

What is your Band-Aid?

Image credit: Neal

Fashion Friday

I’m planning to make Fashion Friday a regular column, fortunately due to the overwhelming support and outpouring of kindness yesterday I just sat here with my jaw hanging open…

My cup truly runneth over.

Next Friday when you drop by you will find a nifty little piece about a recent outfit I found on Pinterest that I am now living in.

Thank you again for yesterday, it was amazing.

Why Dirty Duchess?

Welcome to this space, it’s shiny and new, please take off your shoes (unless they make your outfit) and kick back, grab a drink, and bring a friend. I have been asked incessantly since I started the process of designing this site what it would be about.

I wish I knew.

Dirty Duchess is a small carry over from my first and anonymous blog, The Duchess, which was about my struggle with being a new wife, moving to a small town and my journey with loss and infertility. I can promise you there will be 98% less vagina stories on this site. Dirty Duchess is about real life, I didn’t get the fairytale ending but I do have a shot a pretty fantastic second act. Still if you would have told me in 2004 that in the end of 2013 I would be getting divorced, raising two daughters, working as a barista and still struggling to find my direction, I would have laughed at you…and poured a drink… and freaked out.

Life is dirty, but there are amazing things wrapped in the chaos of this path I’m on. Some days I have a hard time seeing all the beauty and joy that surround me but for the most part I’m learning to refocus on what is really important.

I want to have a life not just a lifestyle.

I want to live in the now and appreciate what I do have. I want to enjoy every single day of good health that I am given. I want to push myself to be my best, even if that means needing a day to be inconsolable.

I want to see my children not only grow but thrive and have excitement for the amazing world we live in. If I have learned nothing else in the last three months it’s that there is extraordinary kindness in this world and it can be found in the most unexpected places.

I want to let go of control and embrace vulnerability, things that are so easy to say and so very hard to do.

I had hoped this would  This will be a space to talk about all the things I enjoy; food, fashion, sex, good books, great writers, amazing people and stories from my own life.

I hope you will join me…